God Likes Me.......

God likes me......he really likes me...........I sit down after i finished painting livi's dresser and turn on SNL and it just so happens to be the best of Amy Poehler, I heart Amy Poehler. Then i sit down to do my lesson plans and my husband says he has to go out but will bring me back some ice cream! OF course its midnight, but its all ok with me! Thank you God, its the simple things that make me smile! LOVE IT! "Hey RICK, can I HAVE A BEE BEARD??!!!" :)

Back to the pits

I'm completely overwhelmed with emotion. This has been a week like no other. It has almost been an out of body experience. I feel like i have been hovering over everything just on looking all week. This morning i finally cracked. (Sorry cindy, for the abrupt cracking, i had no idea it was coming) But the tears just started flowing. I am strong, i have always been the strong one, the one that doesnt cry in the midst of craziness, that makes jokes to make things seem lighter, to stand up when others fall down. I dont know if it my current state or just the lack of normalcy in my life this week, but i can no longer bear the weight. I can make a list a mile long of things on my mind, heavy things, overwhelming things. And under all this pressure i have failed, which makes things worse. The darkness is thick.
I finally felt like my purpose had returned, my spiritual eyes that were blind for so long recovered their sight with a slightly different view, my prayers were heard, and my mission was to fervently pray for my church (for there is a sense of urgency, yet hope there, but the darkness remains thick and surrounds) and to learn how to live again outside of the pit i had created. Then this week happened and as much as i went to God, i then turned my back to him also. I cant add the details at this point, its not something i choose to discuss online, so sorry if it is so abstract that it may be hard to understand. Life has taken a very different turn this week and my body and my mind are having trouble keeping up so i think they just quit trying.

Have I got a blog for you!!..............Unfortunately I am having trouble finding time to sit down and write it, I AM SO TIRED! So youll have to wait, i know you are patient with me and dont mind! :)