It's a boy!

I cant believe its a boy. It came as no surprise, everyone kept telling me it was a boy. But it still is very surreal. I just assumed i would have all girls. My husband said we were going to have all girls when we got married, i just assumed he was right, but he said this week he thought it was a boy. I have no idea what to do with a boy, but it will be fun to find out! For some reason, my main concern with a boy is i do not want to baby him. I want my son to grow up to be a self sufficient man ( oh my gosh, I am going to raise a man!). How do i raise a good man!?! I feel like i can teach livi to be a self sufficient independent head strong woman ( she is already half way there) because that is what i know, but will i be able to teach my son how to be a good man! Oh my goodness! I think i am having a panic attack, I'm going to raise a man! Oh and i hope livi and my little boy will be close. I fear creating animosity between them. I guess most of my fears stem with what i see with my brother. I probably need to let go of what i know and just live and love my children. Oh my gosh, i'm going to have childREN!!! i'm feeling a little joyous and overwhelmed!
I just need to relax. It was a crazy day with livi. This morning she got up at 6:30. Jimi decided to go out to eat late last night and got sick all morning. So i was on my own and had to get her and i ready and finish up some things at school WITH my little buddy livi. Then get to the doctor in time with my little buddy livi. This morning livi was a terror. She is not a terror everyday, but today everytime i turned my head she was into something, doing something she knows she is not supposed to be doing. When i said no, she continued to push the limits with a smile on her face. We had to hurt her feelings to get her to listen. And about noon today, I thought: what am i thinking, I'm going to have another one! But seeing that little baby boy up there on the tv and his little heart beating and seeing and feeling him move around, made me fall in love all over again and remind me of the joy of having little ones, despite the trying times.
Now I need to go and buy some little boy clothes, and yes i thinking about painting the nursery! Luckily all the bedding i picked for livi when she was born is gender neutral and we did her room in primary colors. I think i just want to change the yellow to a light blue that matches the blue in the bedding. So i probably need to add that to my summer to do list! Oh and a name! I have no idea what this baby will be named! I'm hoping it just comes to me!
Well, i think i am going out back to make me a smore! there are young people standing around a fire in my backyard making smores and laughing it up, i think i may go eat a smore and get some z'ssss!
:)