Have you met a miracle today?

So in light of some new circumstances, i have stopped fasting. Though i never understood fasting or the logic behind it. Every other time i have fasted i have come out of it like: why did i do that again? well i decided to participate in this fast because i would be partnering with my husband and to me, as independent as i am, that is important. anything we can do together is great. so the past two weeks have been interesting. Weird things have started happening. I have started having these very vivid weird dreams, alot about school, administrators, and vacations. But in each one i am trying to make someone see my point of view or figure out why someone is doing what they are doing. it's odd and frustrating, because even in my dreams i feel like no one is listening and i am not able to change anything.......weird, right?!
Well these crazy dreams have led me to have weird feelings and pray for weird things ( yes i said pray), and all of a sudden its easy, and comes almost naturally again.
so, a miracle showed up at my door every night this week. We have a new neighbor and she is 10 and her name is miracle. miracle came to the door every night this week to borrow a phone to make phone calls or texts for her mom. she would have notes that she would need to read to the people she called. Every night. Last night she came around dinner time so we invited her in, i asked her if she had eaten and she said yes and made her calls, and left only to return 10 minutes later. she told me that her mom said to tell me that she didnt get her food stamps and she only ate a peanut butter sandwich today. So i made miracle some leftovers and she ate and spent the rest of the evening playing with livi. she then ran home and got a movie and asked if she could watch it, to which i replied no because it is olivia's bedtime. She told me her dvd player is broken, and again i told her it was getting late. while miracle was leaving i told her that if her mom couldnt make dinner tomorrow she was welcome to join us. Of course who showed up at my door again tonight, you guessed it, miracle. she came and asked when we were eating then went to play with friends a couple of houses down. she came back as we finished and wanted to eat. i made her a plate and she ate and i made a plate that she could take to her mom, she came back and played with livi the rest of the evening. As i was telling her it was getting late and about bedtime for livi, she told me she was having a valentine party tomorrow at school and needed snacks, but she didnt have any and asked if she could have some. I didnt have any snacks to give her so she asked to take a box of granola bars from my pantry so i let her. This little girl seems like a nice girl, but her story is kind of sketchy. Now i dont mind feeding the child or giving her a place to play, but i get a little aggravated or nervous when she asks for things. I dont know where it comes from, is her mom telling her to do this? is really hungry or worried about where her next meal will come from? are they just manipulating me? Teaching where i teach, you know the signs and you learn quickly when you are being played. I guess i'm just skeptical, but i cant get it out of my mind, is it because she makes me semi uncomfortable when she asks for things? i will offer her the moon and everything under it and i dont care at all, but when she asks for things it gets under my skin. weird i know. and i am perfectly aware that it is totally not her fault. maybe this is survival for her. i want to help her in any way i can, but i know there needs to be some boundaries, i'm just not sure where they are. the girl has spent hours at my house this week and i have never spoken with or met her mother. this is weird to me, but maybe that is just my set of norms talking. i just get that instinctive weird feeling about it. she does act very much at home here. pray for miracle and her family. i dont know. what do you think?

my tv keeps squealing!!!

anyway,

calling all moms: i am so confused. how can my child be a doll one day and the devil the next? olivia officially has a mind of her own, apparently she knows best and she has learned the word no. monday, we spent some time laying around and just playing together, she was all smiles, helpful and loving. just loving life. the next day she is breathing fire. everything is a fight! everything! fits of NO ensue..................what is going on? i am already exhausted from the day and my patience is thin, very thin and she wants to fight. but when i try to talk to her about it, she doesnt understand, and throws a bigger fit. is this normal? how do you combat this?

and i keep thinking something i am doing or not doing now, is going to harm her as a teen or adult. how do i raise a responsible child?

i have a better question, how do i keep my sanity?

other crazy things that happened this week:
a bed bug crawled up my pant leg at school
we killed two spiders and found out that we have rats. you could say we have a rodent problem at school.