Olivia's journal

I used to journal alot, I mean like everyday! I cant remember the last time i wrote or journaled. In this new year i want to begin a new journal. An olivia journal. I am taking the idea from my friend erin, who writes to her unborn little boy on her blog (thanks erin!), and from a mom who had cancer who knew she would not be around to watch her daughter grow up. i think, even though i am not currently dying (that i know of), this is a great idea anyway. What a wonderful thing for her to have as she grows, reflections and words of wisdom (maybe:) from her mother. And hopefully give me, as her mother, an outlet to reflect upon life, our interactions and how much i love and cherish my little girl. It could even be a way to teach her to pray, considering my journals were prayer journals. So i think this might be a step in the direction of being a better mother in 2009.
I was driving home from my grandma's house this evening with livi in the backseat almost asleep. She had played and ran around with her cousin Ayla all evening. Ayla was being pretty mean at points in the evening, but being that she is not my daughter and she is 2 and 1/2 years old there wasnt much i could do, because livi wanted to follow her and do whatever she did. i had some conversations with Ayla but of course it didnt change much of her brattiness. Driving home, i was reflecting on what i saw that evening, remembering the evening, what i could say to livi in those situations as she gets older to help her stand up for herself but at the same time be respectful and not bully. i reflected on life with my grandma and how much time i used to spend with her when i was little. My grandmas had many grandchildren, but she always made me feel special. She is one of my favorite people in the world. My grandma lived right down the street when i was little, so i spent many days, "going to grandma's". (sidenote: isnt weird how it is always grandmas house and grandpa always gets left out, but he lives there too) anyway, i learned alot from my grandma, she invested in me. I want to invest in my livi, and make sure she knows her family loves her, especially her mother. I never truly appreciated my family until i grew up and had my own. And some of my writings olivia may not appreciate until she gets older, but i hope it is something she cherishes throughout her life.
well, i have published my goal of journaling frequently, so hopefully my idea wont fall away and i will be able to accomplish my goal. i love you livi, more than you will ever know.